dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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