I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
