Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
