I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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