I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
