Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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