I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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