Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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