My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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