The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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