Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Quick, to the slutcave!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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