I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
