White coat. Heels.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
