I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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