i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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