Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
