she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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