cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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