I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
