How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
