when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize