its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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