Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
