if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
