Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
