oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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