Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
