i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
