Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You have to summon your inner elephant
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize