Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
