it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
