tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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