Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
