oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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