trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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