My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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