I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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