Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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