South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
