My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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