So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need a beard to bite.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
