This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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