you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
