Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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