Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
