it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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