my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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