dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
