My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
