I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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