I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
