u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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