Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
