So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
