OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Houston, we have a blender
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
