So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
