There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
