ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
