its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
