If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
