wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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