Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
