It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
