the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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