he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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